Navigating Relationships, Mindfulness & Managing the “Need a Drink” Moment: Insights from Mental Health Expert Amanda Brown
Alright my loves, buckle up because this is basically a masterclass in why you’re not actually “crazy,” why your relationships feel like A LOT sometimes, and how mindfulness might just save your sanity (and your nightly pour).
I just had the most, eye-opening conversation on the ShameOver Podcast with Denver mental health counselor Amanda Brown — and she brought the GOODS. She works with women who look like they’ve got it together on the outside… but behind the scenes? Relationships feel heavy, emotions feel loud, and the wine-o’clock temptation is REAL.
Let’s break this all down — ShameOver style. 💁♀️✨
The Real Talk on Relationship Stress
Amanda works with women who, from the outside, are crushing it — careers, families, the whole thing — but inside? Their relationships feel like a full-body weight. And she made one thing crystal clear:
👉 It’s not just romantic relationships.
The same patterns show up with your kids, your parents, your besties, your coworkers — ALL of it.
Because the real battle isn’t the other person…
It’s what’s happening inside of you that shows up in every relationship you’re in.
Oof. Called out. But in the best way.
🍷 Why Alcohol Sneaks Into the Picture
Before private practice, Amanda worked in substance use treatment, and her insight was so validating:
Many women aren’t drinking because they “like alcohol so much.”
They’re drinking because they’re trying to quiet something inside.
Stress.
Resentment.
Overwhelm.
Loneliness.
Or that “I should be fine but I’m not fine” energy.
Alcohol becomes a quick relief button…
But also a quick way to pile more stress onto the relationship you’re already struggling with.
It’s not the problem — it’s the coping strategy.
That’s where the work begins.
🧘♀️ Quick Fixes Don’t Fix Much
We are a world of instant gratification:
• stressed → scroll
• tired → sugar
• overwhelmed → wine
• irritated → “everyone back away from me immediately”
But Amanda reminds us that these quick fixes don’t support us long-term — they just give us a pause button we eventually have to un-pause.
Her recommendation?
Long-term coping skills that actually strengthen your emotional resilience.
Meditation, journaling, checking in with yourself before reacting (or pouring).
Not sexy, but life changing.
✨ Mindfulness = A Shortcut to Self-Compassion
If you’ve been around ShameOver long enough, you know mindfulness is my ride-or-die.
Amanda explained it in the simplest, most doable way:
Start by being present while brushing your teeth.
Yep. That’s it.
Two minutes of noticing your breath, the bristles, the mint…
Boom — you’re grounded.
Mindfulness isn’t about being zen on top of a mountain.
It’s about coming home to yourself for tiny moments throughout the day.
It builds self-awareness, and that creates better choices — including your drinking choices.
🧠 Stop the All-or-Nothing Spiral
We went IN on this one — because alllll my ShameOver girls know the “screw it” spiral too well.
“I messed up so the whole day is ruined.”
“I drank last night so I might as well drink tonight.”
“I didn’t stick to my plan so clearly I suck.”
NOPE.
All-or-nothing thinking keeps women stuck more than anything else.
Amanda compared it to dieting:
If its “you’re perfect or you fail, you’ll ALWAYS fail.”
Moderation, grace, and big-picture thinking are the actual keys to progress — in food, in drinking, in EVERYTHING.
👶 Making Mindfulness Fun (Even for Kids)
We talked about how hard it is to get kids to do anything mindfully — including brushing their teeth (my personal battlefield).
Amanda’s take?
Make it playful.
Make it engaging.
Let them feel involved.
Kids learn regulation by watching you regulate.
And honestly? It’s a reminder that we adults need those small mindful moments too.
💛 Final Thoughts: You Deserve Support, Not Shame
This episode was such a warm reminder that:
✨ You’re not broken.
✨ Your emotions aren’t “too much.”
✨ Your coping makes sense — but you deserve better support than a nightly pour.
✨ Mindfulness and self-compassion are game changers for your relationships and your drinking.
Amanda and I both agree:
This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present.
One small shift at a time.
If you haven’t listened to the episode yet — run, don’t walk.
And if you loved this blog, share it with a fellow midlife mama who needs a little ShameOver glow today. 💛✨
Listen Now!
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Listen Now! 〰️
You can connect with Amanda here: amanda@amandabrowncounseling.com or www.amandabrowncounseling.com.